Broken Heart, Contrite Spirit

Most everyone who knows us, knows that I recently underwent open-heart surgery. My heart had a hole that was between quarter and half-dollar in size. I've had it since birth (no wonder I was so pathetic at sports!). Because of it's size it needed to be closed.

I've struggled to write this post because it was such a major experience in my life. It's hard to even tell everything that happened, let alone how it has affected me. I wasn't sure I wanted to write a post at all. But, for the purposes of record keeping in our family, I've decided to write a little about this experience.

I went to the IHC hospital in Murray the day before surgery for preliminary blood tests, x-rays, and doctor consultations. I spent the night in the hospital. My surgery was scheduled for January 28, 2010 @ 7:30am. At 6:30am a surgical nurse came in to put in an artery line (picture below). This would allow the doctors to constantly monitor my blood pressure throughout the surgery, and take blood samples as needed.
Then I was taken to the operating room. Jesse and all our family were in the waiting room. I came out of surgery @ 1:30pm.

I spent two days in the ICU, and got to watch all the "What not to wear" that I wanted. I think they were having a marathon day, because it was on ALL day. I just remember being so worn out those two days, and surprised at how many tubes and wires were attached.

My tubes and wires list:
-The artery line
-Major artery line (placed in the artery of my neck for transfusions if needed)
-The IV
-The breathing tube (taken out after surgery was done)
-The heart monitor (with its 5 wires)
-Chest tubes (for draining excess fluid from around my heart and lungs)
-Pacer wires (to help my heart beat regularly if needed)
-A catheter
-Oxygen nasal cannula
-Oxygen sensor on my finger

This next picture is not a lovely shot of me (I'll never know how Snow White and Sleeping Beauty did it, ha ha), but it does show fairly well many of the tubes and wires.
The nurses said I could track my progress by how many tubes I had. The fewer tubes, the closer I was to going home. This is me sitting up in a chair in the ICU. Still not a pretty picture, but at least I'm awake.

Then I was taken up to the 3rd floor for the rest of my stay in the hospital. I was coherent enough at this point to refuse to have my picture taken. As I continued to improve I was taken for several walks a day with the cardiac-rehab people and constantly pestered to take deep breaths and cough. While I was in this room, TLC was having a marathon of cake decorating shows. I thoroughly enjoyed watching them, all of them, ALL day (it's probably a good thing we don't have TV in our apartment I'd probably still be watching cake decorating shows, ha ha). By day 5 in the hospital I was feeling pretty good (relatively, of course), so I arranged to have Russton come for a visit. I met him down on the 1st floor, and it was so good to see his happy face. I was glad I could have that time. It is good to have those you love around you when you need to feel better.
I went home the day after Russton came. It felt good to have all the tubes and wires gone, and to eat real food again. My mom and Jesse's mom were able to stay with us 24/7 for a few weeks. I so appreciated their help. I'm sure I could not have gotten along without them. Our ward members also brought us many, many dinners, which we were so grateful for.

I am still building up my strength, and exercising with cardiac-rehab 3 times a week. But, compared to where I have been I am doing really well. I feel stronger each day.

I feel a deep sense of gratitude for, and love from, my Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ. I realize what a serious situation I was in if my heart was not fixed, and the serious situation that I went through to have it fixed. I know that it is by divine design that this has happened in my life. I understand better now than ever before, how my life is a gift from Heavenly Father. And that my life is completely in His hands. I must admit I didn't know how much He loved me before, but I can not now deny that my Heavenly Father is good and that He loves me infinitely. I know that true healing comes through the infinite Atonement of Jesus Christ. I know that there is nothing that is outside of Christ's ability to repair, heal, comfort, and love. This I know without a doubt. I am indebted Them for my life and for the rest of my life.